Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Asstectomy

Cross posted from my personal poetry site

Asstectomy

Outside of a Denny’s in Point Loma
the sun was rising.
Inside a waitress,
horn-billed glasses and an Afro circa 1979.
She reminded me of a phone operator that was pictured in my seventh grade science book.
She brought me my coffee, eggs, pancakes, and bacon.
As she walked away I noticed her ass.
I was surprised I had not noticed it before.
Perhaps it was because I finally had my food.
Or maybe I noticed because it had eclipsed the rising sun.
It was massive…
Had a minor gravitational field
that disrupted the formation of my silverware.

There has to be a surgery for that.

It wasn’t just the diameter that struck me as odd.
It violated the laws of physics.
Despite its sheer mass,
It did not sag.
Quite the contrary,
the northern hemisphere crawled up into her lumbar region.
Very unsettling.

After her third revolution of the restaurant, my salt & pepper shakers had drifted off the table.
Where as the saltshaker had incinerated after crashing into the atmosphere,
the pepper had been spared
and just fell into orbit with the other satellites.

There has to be a surgery for that.

Her fourth and final revolution failed to yield coffee.
By then it had doubled in size
and was approaching critical mass.
Coffee cups, sugar, sugar substitute packets, and Spanish speaking busboys now littered the air
as I bobbed and weaved the deadly debris.

Reality was perceptively stretching,
the busboys were in red shift,
as the table and booth I was in
ripped right out of the ground.
We were all hurdling towards oblivion as
time came to a screeching halt…

Oh my God, it’s full of stars!!!

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