1.) What is your name?
I'd love to tell you but it is unpronounceable by a human tongue and impossible to express via your primitive alphabet.
2.) Do you find it annoying when surveys ask for your name?
3.) What do you plan to buy in the future?
A shot gun.
4.) Where did you get the underwear you are currently wearing?
From a girl I know.
5.) How many pairs of Converse do you own?
6.) Who is your favorite “That ’70s Show” character?
Topher Grace's character.
7.) There is a mummy standing behind you. What do you do?
Ask him to go get me some Tylenol-I'm hungover like a mother fucker.
8.) What do you think of Miley Cyrus?
I think she represents the moral bankruptcy of the Disney corporation and the Christian conservative movement that buys into it. They are parading jailbait on national television and people wonder why we have so many sex offenders in this country. But it's okay because she's a Christian and has no problem judging other pop stars based on their indiscretions. And it all could have been avoided if millions of idiots hadn't bought that annoying Achy-Breaky Heart song. See? Bad music only leads to more. Are you happy now? Fuck you middle America, I'm talking to you!!!
9.) Do you tend to think that you are always right?
10.) Top Five Favorite Songs:
"Across the Universe" by The Beatles
"Dear Prudence" by The Beatles
"Go to California" by Led Zeppelin
"Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon
"Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd
11.) What was your favorite toy as a child?
My yellow Tonka dumptruck. My grandfather still has it in his shed.
12.) Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding?
I want the Darth Vader funeral, and not just a funeral pyre, but I want to be actually dressed up as Darth Vader. If possible, I want John Williams there... but, and I stress this, NO FUCKING EWOKS!!! Oh and kegs of cheap beer, if loved ones are gonna be drinking on my dime they are going to have to drink crap.
13.) Dinosaurs or Unicorns?
Dinosaurs of course. Interestingly enough, I was such a dork I made "Tyrannosaurus Rex" made my extra credit spelling word in first grade.
14.) What is your favorite musical?
15.) You need new jeans. Where do you go?
Jeremy or Ryan's house.
16.) Do you play the Sims 2?
17.) Do you think Harry Potter is at all immoral to read?
No. But it's all bullshit... wizards, magic, religion, aliens, ABBA...
18.) What do you think of Maroon 5?
19.) What about Coldplay?
Viva la Vida is their best album.
20.) Fall Out Boy?
I like "I Don't Care", but that's about it.
21.) Katy Perry?
22.) How about The All-American Rejects?
23.) Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents?
24.) The Wii or Xbox 360?
25.) Team Demi/Selena or Team Miley?
26.) Do you know many Emily’s?
27.) What do you think of the Jonas Brothers?
I think the South Park episode pretty much sums up the way I feel about them and Disney corporation.
28.) Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out?
Yes on both counts.
29.) What is your favorite kind of Girlscout cookie?
The ones made from them... And Grasshoppers!!!
30.) Do you enjoy surveys?
I am obviously not being coerced into writing this, so what do you think?
31.) What do you hear at the moment?
My nephews are talking about some kid named Dakota who apparently smells like an ungodly circus clown's ass.
32.) Why do you think so many people love myspace?
They put cocaine in it?
33.) What do you think of people who do illegal drugs?
I think they owe me money. But seriously, it depends on the drug. Stoners are tolerable, tweakers are not.
34.) Do you watch the Olympics?
35.) What are your top five favorite stores?
The Apple Store.
The Liquor store.
Barnes & Noble.
36.) Do you like the new Weezer album?
It better than being kicked in the balls.
37.) What did you think of Panic at the Disco
38.) What is the worst job you have ever had?
Busboy at Sizzler. I don't eat there anymore.
39.) Have you ever been to Minnesota?
40.) What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen on TV?
That Iranian girl dying.
41.) Do you watch informercials when there is nothing on?
Billy Mays is sort of entertaining, especially considering he is dead and still trying to sell me shit at four am.
42.) What is your favorite Disney Show?
43.) Have you ever seen the Wedding Singer?
Yes, and it is also an Adam Sandler movie that is actually funny and one I like. Somewhere in the universe there is a massive tear in spacetime.
44.) Top five reasons people rank things:
Think you're clever, don't you?
45.) Have you ever gone camping?
Yes, funny you should ask.
46.) What do you miss most about elementary school?
Actually enjoying it before I moved to Yucaipa.
47.) What do you do when you want to fill out a survey, but none of your friends have posted surveys that you have not taken yet?
Look up porn. No, not really. It's worse than that... politics.
48.) What is your favorite kind of DQ Blizzard?
Never had one.