Thursday, August 21, 2008

Troll Talk: The Douche Bag Awards

Uh oh, it looks like I might have to reverse my decision to give the former Pizza Hut employee who implicated himself for extortion with a picture from his cell phone because
This is a cult. Not a religion. Give yourself the douche bag of the week.

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for nominating me for the "Douche Bag of Week" award. I appreciate your clarity on the subject. You are correct to identify my off the cuff remark regarding a need for more ole timey religion is clearly more foolish than the self implicating photo of the Pizza Hut guy's car and license plate. Unfortunately, were I to award myself this prestigious accolade it might be considered a conflict of interest on my part, so I am going to have to respectfully decline. Please don't think that your courageous attempt of anonymously rebuking me on my own blog will go without merit, it's just that I don't have an award in place to recognize such bravery. However, I do have a sheet of gold star stickers. I hope this will suffice.

-Buck

2 comments:

Captain Gold Star said...

When did you start going by "Buck"? I can appreciate your diligence in not wanting to corrupt the validity of your prestigious award. In this case however, I must insist that you accept. I've never before read a blog full of such witty rhetoric. You must be very proud of yourself and all that you've accomplished thus far in life. By the way, kudos to you on the iPhone! How's the job hunt going?

Mildly Brilliant said...

And people in Hell want ice water...